I want to have your abortion
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
