I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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