Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
