i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
