I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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