I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
