Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He kissed a someone with a penis
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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