apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I sprained my soul last night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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