Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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