at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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