I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
