I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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