Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
