just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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