Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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