I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
