a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
