Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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