I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
