Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
is it fun? or sober?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
