You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
