hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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