My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
