I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
