We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
