I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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