OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize