is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
