sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
