The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
