go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
