I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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