Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize