Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
