I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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