you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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