It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
