It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
