careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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