someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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