I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
