You really coming over, don't trick.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
