That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
