is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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