The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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