Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
