since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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