it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
