Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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