Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
