We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
