Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
