Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
