Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
