jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
