I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
