I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
